A Disconnection from the Hive Mind

I don’t have planned vacations. As a freelance the work comes in as it comes in and I have to take what I can get when I can get it. Holiday time is something which happens infrequently and is unpaid. As a result I keep working as long as I can to maximise potential revenue. Now the holidays are forced upon me what am I supposed to do?

The festive season begins and suddenly nobody is there to reply to my emails or call me with progress about pending work. No workshops are booked and friends are gradually retreating to go off and do much needed Christmas duties. I’m told I’m supposed to enjoy the holidays. I’m told that I can sit and do nothing if I want to. I’m told I can pause now for a while.

Stop.

Silence.

A disconnection from normality.

The chatter of my internal monologue driving me along is being forced to a halt. What can I replace it with? Is there anything I should replace it with? I walk and overlook the hubub and bustle of the city. Where will I fit in this space during the next few weeks? I need to remember the other things I used to do… that I want to do…

What can I do?

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