I’m stalling. I know I’m stalling. I can come up with a million valid excuses but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m holding off on completing Cochleae. I’ve been here before, I get to the end of an artwork and have nothing planned to come after. Of course I have a few little projects here and there but nothing big that I can sink my teeth into.
I fear the emptiness that will be there once I declare that I’m finished; that restless nameless fear that means I’m done here, done making, done with my creative mojo. I still don’t know what I’ve made with Cochleae or what it should mean to me. Until I can reconcile what this artwork is then how can I learn from it and move on? Maybe there is nothing to create after this. Perhaps this is it; this is the final collage I will ever make.
And so I procrastinate, distract, deflect, pause… anything to stop this piece coming to an end.
I am a coward.
I should believe in myself more and just get on with it.