I refuse to be an ‘Artist’ [2]

I’m a boat builder. I build boats all over the world. I know I’m a boat builder because I say I’m a boat builder. I’ve had some great reviews from some of the leading critics in the field of boat building so that’s all that matters really. They say that I’m the latest thing and people who are fans of boats are lining up to buy them.  I could show you pictures of some of the boats I’ve built but they’re all deeply conceptual and I’m not sure you’d understand. What’s that? Are they rowing boats or sail boats? Well I hardly think that matters does it? Are you questioning my reputation and my skills as a boat builder? I have a 20000 word dissertation that says I’m the real deal and people up and down the country are encouraged to follow everything I say.

Yeah, I know I’m being ridiculous but this really is how it works in the art industry. The career of the artist doesn’t seem to be built on craft or on skill but on reputation and chumminess with critics and academics. The doubt about what Art is is so widely peddled that only if a critic says it’s good Art is it considered to be good Art. An example is this BBC piece where Will Gompertz says Kim Kardashian’s latest pictures can’t be Art unless the photographer is declaring himself to be an artist. He goes further to say that it is only Art if a reputable arts photographer such as Jeff Koons is producing the work. So the poor un-named photographer who produced the Kim Kardashian photograph is not considered or consulted in producing the BBC piece. He is damned as a non-artist due to the lack of chumminess he has with Will Gompertz.

Ironically the photographer in question, Jean-Paul Goude, is a great French photographer who has declared openly that his photographs of Kim Kardashian are Art. But this does not matter here in the UK. The elites have told us what to think and we must believe them.

Their boats don’t hold water with me. I refuse to play their game.


More shit I found on the floor in my studio. It’s art because I say it is. Do you believe me? No? Good.


5 thoughts on “I refuse to be an ‘Artist’ [2]

  1. Pingback: The Emperor’s New Clothes | melanie ezra

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