I’ve been a little stuck for a while now. Sure I’ve made some good new work, and I’ve even sold some of it, but I don’t feel that any of it is any better than this little piece of artwork I made a few months back. It’s been eating away at me slowly since then.
I’ve tried to reason my way out of this creeping malaise. I’ve tried to work through this growing problem by developing my Walk/Listen/Respond project but this has simply diverted me from my studio and not addressed what it is that I feel is missing. I’ve revisited the collage itself and tried to replicate it in my more recent pictures, and yes it has worked to some extent; but I just feel like I’m going through the motions. I’ve tried to grow in my practice by looking at other possibilities but I always seem to be missing that ‘wow’ factor for me.
This is stupid. I know this is stupid. I know the reaction of other people to my latest works means that I have something worth showing and marketing. But I’m lacking in soul and I’m lacking in direction. The halt in making that I suffered as a result of my trip to New York has simply amplified this feeling. Now I’m at the point where I can’t even work out why I’m stuck or why I can’t seem to move my brain on and focus elsewhere. There are only three things going round in my head at the moment:
It doesn’t get any better than this.
I just can’t do any better than this.
I’m not going to do any better than this so why bother?