An other [un]familiarity

Self [other] 10

I don’t like looking at my previous work. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before. It doesn’t matter how good the work is, it is simply part of a previous self that has since moved on. I like looking forward not backwards. I get excited about ideas I have, and am yet to have. I love the buzz of putting something new together. I like surprising myself. This is something I can only get with the new, and feel like I will never get from the old.

The trouble is, my previous work is what pays the bills. If I don’t market the product I have created then how will I feed myself? I try to leave the old as long as possible until I hope my eyes and my mind will have forgotten about it. Maybe then I can look and be surprised and excited about it again and feel the energy and self-belief needed to market this older work.

Today I’ve rediscovered six smaller collages from the Self [other] series; some of which I exhibited in Brooklyn Artists Gym in August. These little works intrigue me. The more I look at them, the more I try to imagine how the original photograph may have looked [I can’t remember] and what was going through my mind at the time [no idea]. My larger pieces in the Self [other] series took up to a month to complete but these little works took as little as an afternoon. I do not have a bank of memories pertaining to these images and they seem foreign to me as a result. My diary tells me I completed Self [other] 10 on June 22nd but even this knowledge doesn’t trigger any memories in me. This is the tipping point for my mind. If I have no memory of making these images then they are at the point of becoming new again.

The idea of this tipping point excites me. Work that was previously familiar is now becoming unfamiliar to me. It is only when it becomes ‘other’ to me does it have a chance of developing an affiliation with my current Self.

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