You won’t find many pictures of me like this. They simply don’t exist because I don’t let them exist. For someone who focuses on self-portraiture it is surprisingly easy to avoid this type of image. Usually I avert my face, or decapitate myself in the shot in an attempt to hide in some way. It’s usually a method of showing you myself without the focus being on the face. After all, the self is not the face or the body but an abstraction of the mind (as I said in my first blog in May this year)
In fact, why am I sharing this photograph with you if I do not think it is necessary for you to see it?
I’m usually very uncomfortable with looking at my own face and I know this is a common feeling not unique to me. I don’t mind at all if you see my face as long as I don’t have to. I think this is because normally the picture of my physical presence bears no resemblance to the ideological me that exists within my mind. Photographically, if an image contains a body [my body] then I can believe that body is playing a character; acting out a role. The addition of my face to that body somehow cements the viewer into believing more about my self than is necessarily intended. [There’s something more I need to add about clothes here but I’ll save that for another day]
Somehow though, I am comfortable with looking at this face. Of course this is my face; it is mine. But also this is the face that is me; the me as I think I appear to the outside world, and in the way I would like that world to remember me by.
This is my Self.