I’m not very good at dealing with last minute changes or curve balls thrown to me by other people. Actually, that last sentence is an understatement. My pulse can be 72bpm one minute and 200bpm the next with no intermediate stage which renders me totally unable to deal with little ridiculous stresses. My mind becomes blind to simple ways around a simple change in a situation. My coping strategy has always been to write little paper lists of what is happening but of course I can never factor in the unforeseen last minute things that come my way.
Collage is my way of trying to combat this. I find each piece either a joy or a torment depending on which way my mind turns. Usually I have the piece calmly matched up in its designated place, then I turn it over to administer the glue, and hey presto, as if by magic, when I turn it back over I simply cannot see where I intended to place it. I am doing a jigsaw with the target picture in front of me (a target picture which I created) but where the pieces are constantly shifting in my mind’s eye. The challenge becomes less about the art of placing a piece and more about my ability to let go of the plans and intentions that I had 30 seconds earlier. I either get angry or I get creative. Collage for me is the happy medium.
Using collage to challenge my stress levels is good therapy for me, as well as being aesthetically awesome, and I am fully committed to creating further new works in this way. But sadly it hasn’t yet stopped me coming across to other people as a panicky intolerant control freak.
One day, in time, I’ll conquer this.