It is always difficult to explain what I am thinking. I put things into a picture that I cannot always find the words to express. To then be asked to explain my intentions and thoughts behind what I am expressing visually seems futile. If I could explain myself verbally then I would be an orator instead of an artist.
Sometimes it is necessary to talk about my work to sell the idea and to explain the methods. I struggle explaining to photographers why my work is lacking in precision perfectionism. I struggle explaining to artists why I feel it necessary to use photography. I cannot always explain my methods except that they feel right to me. I like tactile, unpolished, rough edged, layered, and collaged. It’s who I am. It’s what I am. I just happen to use a camera to make the initial image. Ok? I am NOT a photographer.
And then there’s the concept. How can I sum up (in 100 words, 2000 words, a short interview, etc) the theories of Hume/Dennett/Descartes on the Self? How can I explain that the self is in flux and ever changing when most people believe a self-portrait is simply a picture of the face of the individual concerned? The self is not the body or the face but an abstract concept. This requires abstract methods.
It requires a lecture on metaphysics.
I don’t get angry about my failure to communicate. I simply get frustrated. As I get more frustrated I appear to come across as defensive and even hostile. This is never my intention. I simply want to communicate. The best way I can do that is through a picture not through words.
So here is the picture to explain my frustrations.